DOUBLE DOUBLE
Two or three times a year, I commit to a wash and set plus deep condition at my neighborhood Dominican salon. As a New Yorker by way of RI and a bonafide island kid, the ambiance does my spirit a lot of good and is worth a teensy bit of heat damage, for a week or so's worth of minimal mane management. It's self-care when I'm feeling most introverted... to protect my crown from the wet and cold. To put it down and rest quietly. I take my baby with me, too. She is only allowed heat on her head once a year, but I bring her for the culture, for the clique, for the community. To bear witness to and develop a ritual around what suits her taste and time. She already has swag… Even did a big chop and a side-shave, all before the 1st grade... But more than that, she will have been raised with the respect for her hair and skin and sense of self that will be mocked, mimicked, and marveled at for the rest of her natural-born brown girl days.
These days feel like family for me, like home. Being so far away from ours, I guess my hope is that the familiarity transfers to her. I suppose tradition & ritual get passed on just that way. Little, everyday things we call habits, routine. Those are ritual & they are deeply ingrained early on. Watching women make one another feel good & renewed, heard & respected. It has to be powerful. So much healing brew gets made here, applied, and re-tried. It's an intimate place. One that greets you with a bit of shade if it's been too long. A place where my baby is free to wander and ask questions and there are always at least two other babies to keep her company.
This practice of tribe is what we need more of and it does my heart good to remember it still thrives in some places. Now, if only we would remember that formula is universal and often imitated... it's time we spread this spirit around like old times and use those deep-rooted, natural instincts to heal and heal and heal until we remember what the weight of the crown feels like and how to wear it with grace, pride & fortitude.
